Just as sweet.

So, a blog. I did it. I made one. 

Who knew coming up with a name would be so difficult? And also that because I am so behind, all the good ones might be taken? I googled blog name generator and it brought me to a site that comes up with goofy names for you. Not really BLOG quality. How do I find just a few simple words that sum up who I am and what life is all about?

Here were the suggested names:

Your movie star name: Cheez-its Harold
Your fashion designer name is Melissa Rome
Your socialite name is Moose 
Your fly girl / guy name is M Rek
Your detective name is Tiger Lakota
Your barfly name is Energy Bar 
Your soap opera name is Anne Longstraw
Your rock star name is Twix Subway
Your Star Wars name is Melgot Rekrya
Your punk rock band name is The Good Kaliedoscope

Not exactly what I was looking for. But thanks, anyway. I kinda like the band name. I'll save that for future use. Haha. 


So in my search for a meaningful name, I started thinking of scriptures and song lyrics that had an impact on my life. 

• I spent many years writing as 'dropfgoldensun' on Xanga. I just liked the way it sounded in the song "Do-Re-Mi" from the Sound of Music. A drop of golden sun... Still love it.
• One of my favorite memories is with my childhood friend Rian Kistner, jumping on her trampoline belting out the lyrics to our favorite SuperChic[k] song. "We're not done yet, not going quietly into the night, not me and my friends. We're not done yet, don't take it too seriously, it's just life. We'll win in the end."
• "Put music to our troubles, and we'll dance them away." This was the mantra for my Xanga over the years. To me, it meant finding a song with the words that expressed the things I didn't know how to say. And somehow, because somebody else understood, felt the same way I did, I knew everything would be okay. Just knowing I was not alone.
• "Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall, will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?" The first time I heard the song I Can Only Imagine, I was riding in the car with my mom and sister. It was early summer in 2001, and we were on our way back from town. My eyes started tearing up because I didn't know if I would make it into Heaven. But for the first time, I wanted it more than anything, to stand, to fall on my knees, to sing hallelujah, to be silent, just to be in Jesus' presence at all. It was then that I felt God start working on me. 
• Psalms 77. A friend of mine suggested I read it once years ago, and I've read it a countless amount of times since. It's a powerful Psalm about getting caught up in your shortcomings and mistakes. Searching for God but feeling so unworthy. And then realizing that it is your flesh that makes you feel that way, not God. He has not forgotten you. Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, think of all the great works He has done! Who is so great a God as our God! 
• The book of James. I read the whole thing instead of just a verse or two and it helped me get my spiritual life back on track when I first moved out on my own. I was heading down a slippery path but the Lord with his gracious hand, guided me back to where I needed to be. Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only. See what manner of person you are, and be a DOER of the Word, don't just pretend like you're okay, allow your self to be changed in God's presence and truth. Continue therein and be blessed!
• Exodus 4:10-15. Moses (Moses!) feels unqualified, insecure about what God is asking him to do. Why would people listen to me? I'm not eloquent. Who am I, Lord? I relate to Moses here in so many ways. I've grown up with a variety of complexes, as so many of us do. But to remember, that God made me. HE made ME. He'll be my guide, take my hand, give me words. I can do very little on my own, but with God, I can do all things.

But alas, nothing I tried ended up being available. Although, now I've come up with a few more ideas, I'll just be happy with what I chose.

It's the NIV translation of 1 Peter 4:8. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." We chose this verse for the programs at our wedding. And so I think it is very fitting to take a place as a banner over my words here. Love each other deeply. Because, love covers a multitude of sins. My husband shows me that every day. No matter how bratty or moody I get, he doesn't retaliate, he doesn't try to get me back. He just loves me. I want to be like that. Jesus loves us like that. I think of how much Ryan loves me and can't even imagine how much more Jesus must love me. It's unfathomable! I am one blessed chica.

I'm so unworthy, but still You love me.